New features of C# in simple source code

New features of C# in simple source code

Egyptian sales techniques!

Egyptians are smart salesmen:
Here are techniques used by them.
Please note that dialogs are just summaries. Real dialogs are quite long and time consuming.

"2 Pounds"
He lures you by offering to sell items 2 EGP each.
You, greedy, stop and select an item.
You decide to buy and take item in your hand.
You get amazed that only that selected item is 35 EGP, rest is still 2 EGP!

"Currency Conversion"
He lures you by offering to sell item at 2 Pounds.
You, greedy, stop as you think that item is worth 5 EGP.
You decide to buy and take item in your hand.
You get amazed that selected item is 2 British Pounds!

"Negotiating"
You stop and want to buy two pieces of same item. You estimate that both pieces are worth 30 EGP total.
You: "How much?"
Him: "Hmm, this one?" (pointing at an item)
You: "Yeah"
Him: "Very cheap price, for you, 30 British Pounds per one piece"
You: Put down the item, thinking that it is out of budget
Him: "Very good item, my friend, blah blah..."
You: "Very expensive"
Him: "How about 30 British Pounds for both pieces?"
You: "I do not want to buy, it is very costly"
Him: "No, my friend, it is cheap. In tourist market, it is 60-70 British Pounds"
You: "Ok, shukran" Start walking
Him: "Wait, wait. I give you at 30 US Dollars for both. Very cheap."
You: "It is too costly for me; Thank you"
Him: "How much?"
You: "30 EGP for both"
Him: "Egyptian Pounds?"
You: "Yeah"
Him: "Friend, give me good reasonable price"
You: "No, only 30 EGP"
Him: "Ok, take it at 50 EGP"
You: "No"
Him: "Last, very good price 45 EGP"
You: Already tired, brain dead and you want to buy and finish off. You buy.
You get amazed that you paid 15 EGP more.

"No Change"
He will never have enough change. So, you will end up losing little more than what you agreed with him.

"Money is no problem"
You: "How much?"
Him: "Money - no problem. Select. No money for selection"
You: Spend time in selecting and talking blah blah blah
You: "How much for this one?"
Him: "Friend, money is no problem. This item is very very good, blah blah blah"
You: you even get involved in this blah blah blah
Him: "Pack this for you?"
You: "yeah, but how much?"
Him: "My Friend, money no problem" Packs item and hands over to you
You: "How much?"
Him: "75 EGP"
You: "Errr, hmmm, aha, this, err, little costly"
Him: "ohh, my friend, for you, 70 EGP"
You: Hand over 100 EGP note as if he obliged by telling you lots of blah-blah-blah about that item.
Later, you get amazed that you paid double.

"Show Respect"
You: "How much?"
Him: blah blah
You: blah blah
Him: blah blah
...
You: "Ok, this is costly. I do not want to buy. Thank you."
Him: "Hey, show some respect. You spend too much time, I gave you drink. Do not walk away. This is not good. BLAH BLAH BLAH"
You: Feel guilty, and stop to negotiate further!

"Let Customer Speak"
You: "How much?" Thinking that item would be around 10 EGP
Him: "200 EGP"
You: Jaws dropped. "What?"
Him: "Ok, my friend, you tell me - how much?"
You: "25 EGP" Thinking that your estimation was too wrong.
Him: "Hmm, ok, give me good price. No 200 EGP. No 25 EGP"
You: ...
Later, you get amazed that you paid too much!

IT and Bollywood

New films based on feedback from IT industry:

Hang To Hona Hi Tha ! Damn!
Meri DVD Tumhare Paas Hai
Ab Woh Lauta Do
Aao Chat Kare
Programmer No.1
Majdoor Programmer
Majboor Programmer
Mera Naam PM - The King of Nothingness
Java Wale Job Le Jayenge
Hum Apki RAM Mein Rehte Hein
Do Processor Baarah Terminal
Tera Code Chal Gaya - The WOW effect
Har Din Jo Mail Karega - The Waiting for Reply
Network Ke Us Paar
Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
Jish Desh Mein Narayan Murthy Rehte Hai
Raju Ban Gaya MCSD
Client Ek Numbari Developers Dus Numbari
Login Karo Sajana
Naukar PC Ka
1942 - A Bug Story
Kaho Na Virus Hai
Crash Se Crash Tak
Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
Password De Ke Dekho
Terminal Apna, Login Paraya
Bug Se Bug Tak
Apna Sapana Money Money
Debugging At Lokhandwala
Salam-E-UAT
Bug Na Hota To Kya Hota
Programming Ke Side Effects - The Bugs
Lage Raho Developers
Mera Bill Pay Karke Dekho
Bas Ek Bug
Black Friday - The Deployment Day
Bugs Jaroori Hai
Thode Bugs Thoda Code
PM : The Royal Bugger

Definition of a bad programmer!

who finds 'ways' to write VB6 in any language!

:-)

Everyday Story...

This is story about four people

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody & Nobody.

There was important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. But Everybody thought that Somebody will do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody was sure that Anybody could do it but Nobody resented that Everybody could not do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when actually Nobody asked Anybody.

:-)

Useless Facts!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(OMG!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(How about being pig in next life?)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(I still cannot forget the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories per hour.
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the...?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(Being pig in next life is better...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Yawn)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, that is a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

Murphy's laws of computing!

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

6. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.

7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.

8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.

9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked perfectly.

10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.